Be thankful for your comfortable bed, food, water, friends, freedom,
a chance to work, and many other blessings!
Controlling Life with Our Mind
Some researchers believe that every thought affects every cell of the
body, awake or asleep, 24 hours a day. All of this occurs on a subconscious
level, but as the years pass, scientists now find that we can control more
and more in our life with our own mind.
However, the mind is not only in the head. The mind is throughout the
body. Body affects body, brain affects body, and body affects brain. With
excessive uncontrolled worry, people are likely to experience an increase
in digestive acids, a tight throat and chest, an increase in heart rate,
restless sleep, and perhaps headaches. They may increase their use of drugs,
alcohol, food, or cigarettes. In distress, they seek distractions while
hoping to numb the pain or provide some pleasure, however temporary.
Yet our natural inborn perfected technology can do much of the searching
for the cause of the problem and the perfect solution. These are the unlimited
gifts within. Many years ago, I read research that discovered there is
a difference between tears of joy and tears of sadness. Although tears
of depression may look the same as tears of laughter, being clear and wet,
there is a major unseen difference between the two. Their chemical content
is different and varies according to our thoughts.
The relatively new field which studies mind and body relationships is
called psychoneuroimmunology, also known as PNI. One of the pioneers, O.
Carl Simonton, M.D., in his popular book, Getting Well Again,
discusses a variety of positive mental techniques to defend against feelings
of hopelessness and even cancer. I gave this book and accompanying audio cassettes
to my Aunt Minnie and others. The recommendations of Dr. Simonton have
had a remarkable effect in prolonging and adding quality to their lives.
It seems so many people who have cancer are those who are always doing
wonderful things for other people, but who forget about themselves. I always
say:
"Love yourself first. Then when your basic needs are satisfied,
you can really love and help others."
Simonton discusses such valuable techniques as learning a positive attitude,
exercising, regulating your diet, joining an emotional support group of
patients who share the same problem, meditating, setting goals, using positive
imaging to alter the health of the body or specific parts of the body,
visualizing good health and success before it happens, using hypnosis for
pain control, using biofeedback, employing therapy to increase feelings
of self-worth, and training to cope with stress and anger.
Exercise: Creating Feelings
Remember a time when you felt angry. Create all the details of the event,
using all your senses. Notice how you feel. Now remember a time when you
felt happy, again using all your senses. Just as we can upset ourselves
by reviewing the past over and over, we can choose to feel confident,
calm, and happy by selecting memories that inspire those feelings.
Moods and attitudes can affect our organs, tissues, our entire physical
health. Our immune system is affected by our anger, sadness, and happy
states. On the other hand, if you do not feel confident or happy, you can
pretend that you are and you can change your emotions. Then you are the
master of your own mind.
Prayer and Mind Power
Where the patient has a strong religious faith, prayer may be most beneficial.
Some cancer professionals employ psychological techniques in conjunction
with standard medical procedures. The use of mind power methods may enhance
the benefits of other procedures such as surgery, medication, exercise,
and diet.
Other benefits may include enhanced rest and better sleep, inner peace,
and removal of or a dramatically improved ability to cope with pain. In
addition, a more positive outcome from surgery is more likely by instilling
confidence in a patient regarding his beliefs about the skills and techniques
of the physician coupled with the removal of preoperative fears, stress,
and tension. Direct or indirect suggestions in and out of hypnosis can
be most beneficial when used to convince the patient she is capable of
rapid recovery and healing. Among many suggestions, medical hypnotherapist,
Dr. William J. Bryan, Jr. advocated telling his patients:
'You will come out of surgery with a good appetite.'
The rationale of the suggestion and internal imagery is that if the
patient is to come out of surgery with a good appetite, he will have
to be alive. Dr. Bryan believed that an operation should not begin
unless the patient is convinced of a positive outcome following the operation.
Imagine a hypnotherapist in every hospital programming success imagery
into every patient who is about to undergo surgery. Perhaps hospitals could
have full-time hypno-technicians to hypnotize patients. Each patient could
be given the exact hypnotic suggestions recommended by his or her doctor.
Imagine a room filled with people who will undergo the same type of
treatment program, all feeling optimistic about their future. Do you think
that perhaps their body will cooperate better in the healing process?
The Firewalk Experience
Would you walk barefoot over a bed of hot coals or hot stones to build
up your confidence? This confidence builder, which is all the rage at some
seminars and workshops, borders on a P. T. Barnum publicity stunt. However,
if a participant really believes in his mind that he has accomplished the
miraculous, then that is wonderful. The experience can boost your confidence
sometimes to a ridiculous extent.
Some fire walkers go so far as to believe that they have made themselves
immune to fire. Others tell their followers that special powers of immunity
to fire have been extended to everyone attending the firewalk event. Regardless
of the true worth of this experience, when you believe in yourself, you
can do so much more than you ever believed possible. This is not a new
development. People have been doing the firewalk for thousands of years.
In 1961, I read about the firewalk experience in D. H. Rawcliffe's excellent
reference work, Illusions and Delusions of the Supernatural and the
Occult:
"... the fire walker induces an autohypnotic state with accompanying
analgesia and a psychosomatic modification of the tissues to injury by
burning." Rawcliffe adds that part of the preparation for the firewalk
may "include fasting, sexual abstinence, prayers, monotonous chanting,
exhortations, frenzied rhythmic dancing .... The combined effect of many
of these initial purification rites must often produce in the walker a
highly suggestible trance-like state. There is, however, little indication
that the primary function of such preliminaries is anything more than to
bring about the expulsion of the walkers' natural fears, a vital point
in all types of firewalk. It is necessary to keep one's wits; for poise,
correct pacing, and timing are all important liquors are never taken beforehand
....
The initial rites therefore play a big role in bolstering up confidence
....The feet are actually in contact with the embers less than half a second
during each step; this is the secret of the firewalk; and provided the
feet are completely dry and free from perspiration, so that no burning
ashes adhere to them during the time each foot is in the air, the risks
of burning are relatively small .... Steadiness in walking is an advantage
in order to avoid remaining with the weight on one foot for too long ...."
Decades ago and continuing today, some hypnotist entertainers have passed
fire under the palm of hypnotized volunteers. As with the firewalk embers,
the flame produces a stunning visual effect in a dark room. The volunteer
is told to extend his arm straight out, with the palm facing down. The
hypnotist strikes up a lighter and passes the flame under the hand with
no burning, supposedly due to hypnosis. Genuine as hypnosis is, this stunt
is merely an adaptation of a simple magician's trick. If you place your
hand through a candle flame, without visiting it too long, you may achieve
black fingers, but there will be no burn. Similarly, our entertainer makes
sure that the flame from the lighter does not linger long on the volunteer's
palm.
Using Hypnosis to Recall the Happy Times
Why not use positive imagery or hypnosis to help people to be thankful
for every moment of the gift of life? Hypnosis may be used to help in the
recall of all the pleasant memories, the things we have learned, and the
thrills we have experienced. Such memories may induce natural chemicals
to be released in the body creating a joyous, positive feeling state. Negative
past experiences and memories may be altered to become more positive. Emotional
gaps and longings in one's personal history may be patched, altered, redesigned,
and changed. Before dying, mental preparation may even begin for the journey
to the next world. Different scripts of positive suggestions may be composed,
depending upon the personal beliefs and the individual desires of each
patient. As the most respected medical hypnotherapist Dr. Milton H. Erickson
said:
'You can practice anything, and master it!"
Another wonderful quotation from Dr. Erickson is:
"After the rain always comes the sunshine."
The techniques I am about to describe will transform your life. Much
of what I discuss also can be done without another person acting as your
guide. You will replace the old negative programming with positive affirmations
and images. The mental static and invisible barriers of the mind can be
removed permanently.
I am moving slowly because I want you to climb inside my head and understand
how I think and how I feel. When you have an understanding and a feel for
what I write about, you will be able to effortlessly use these invisible
gifts which we all possess. You will be able to use the technique at will
with precision and joy. In this book I will use my journeys into the personal
memories of my mind to show you how to easily use these processes in your
own daily life.
Like the pieces of a puzzle, I believe everything will fit together
perfectly by the end of this book. I believe that your application of the
creative resources and strengths of your inner mind will then be easily
and automatically applied to enrich your life. Countless people have asked
me over the past three decades how I became interested in the study of
the inner mind, the power of positive thinking, and hypnotic motivation.
More importantly, thousands of people have asked me how they can use these
wonderful gifts in their own life. I am a great advocate of positive thinking.
However, as Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Robert Harper point out in A Guide
To Successful Marriage, there are limits to the value of positive thinking:
"At the most it may serve as a temporary diversion from your
difficulties. It cannot really correct them as long as together with this
`accentuating the positive', you are still unconsciously or unawarely emphasizing
the negative."
This quote emphasizes the greater importance of changes within the inner
mind. My vision is to share these gifts with as many people as possible.
We all have them, but only a small percentage of the population will ever
use them. I want you to know and believe that you have these powers inside
you and that you easily can use them at will. Once you learn them, my hope
is that you will share these techniques with your family, friends, coworkers,
and anyone else who will listen. I say, with confidence, that you can use
these techniques on a daily basis to enjoy a healthier, wealthier, and
happier life.
Perhaps the most wonderful benefit of using these techniques is that
when you're satisfied and happy, it is easy for you to love others and
help others to enjoy every moment of their lives. The best way to share
these miraculous gifts with you is to start at the beginning. I was born
July 1, 1949 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For the first 37 years of my
life I lived in Winnipeg. I now live in a small seaside community in White
Rock, British Columbia, Canada, about 45 minutes from Vancouver.
I was the eldest of two boys raised by an Italian father and a Polish
mother. Although my parents were born in Canada, my grandparents emigrated
from Europe with no money but a strong work ethic. Having parents from
such distinct and opposing nationalities, I experienced, from an early
age, a wide variety of society and social characteristics. My Italian background
gave me a sense of spontaneity, impulsiveness, and a general joy for life.
My Italian relatives taught me warm affection, appreciation of the present,
and the exuberance that Italians are well known for. A visit to the Italian
side of the family was a loud, boisterous event with grandparents, aunts,
and uncles kissing, hugging, and shouting how glad they were to see me.
They lived by a simple motto:
Enjoy these precious moments we have together.
Every greeting was followed with huge quantities of food and the unending
Italian admonishment to eat, eat, and eat some more. Like many cultures,
food was another way to show love. To eat the food was to show appreciation
of that love. No wonder I was overweight as a teenager! I hated feeling
uncomfortable and habitually buying one size larger. A change of attitude
was required. I needed to eat to live, rather than to live to eat.
From my Polish side, I learned how to plan and look forward to the future.
Although most of my Polish relatives were not as open in their show of
affections as my Italian relatives, they were nonetheless steadfast in
their caring and kindness toward me. My Polish grandmother, Baba, as we
have always called her, still lives in Winnipeg. When I think of her, I
see two large arms coming to give me a warm and secure hug. Baba has been
known for years as the world's greatest perogy maker.
I remember many family get-togethers, in which Baba would make enough
food to feed an army. Chicken, beef, cabbage rolls filled with rice, salads,
potatoes and gravy, bread, borscht soup, ice-cream, five or six deserts,
soft drinks, milk and, of course, plenty of butter and onions for the perogies.
I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Are you? Even during short visits
to Baba's, I was greeted by those big enveloping arms and a table loaded
with food. She would most often say, "You are too small. Eat, I like
a big man. You are too skinny."
I appreciated Baba's love for me as expressed through food, but I often
had to use self-suggestion and mentally think: "I reject that suggestion;
that's ridiculous. My body weight is just right."
Two ideas are important here: First, you reject the negative suggestion.
Place a concrete and steel mental wall on top of it. Or place a large black
X upon it. Or let it float away in a balloon. Or use some other technique
that is effective for you. Another method is to visualize a large garbage
can or incinerator. Imagine that you are placing any negative thoughts
that you have about yourself into the garbage can and watch city refuse
collectors take them away. The first technique that pops into your head
from your inner mind is usually the best one. I'll tell you more about
that later.
Secondly, you affirm with a positive suggestion stating what
you do want to believe. Remember, with positive suggestions, you always
say what you do want, never what you don't want. The attitude about food
that I grew up with was: Let's celebrate and eat.
This attitude is great for the food merchandisers, but it no doubt has
led to billions of pounds of extra weight throughout the world. Some people,
while trying to control their weight problem while visiting others, have
tried another tactic to lose weight. This involves telling your host the
following: " love to visit you, but I find that I eat too much when
I come. Your delicious food is so tempting. My doctor says I have to control
my weight because it will be easier on my back, to control my blood pressure,
etc. I know you love me, but you can show it best by not tempting me with
all these wonderful foods."
>A more forceful tactic used by some is to say: "Please try your
best to help me. If you cannot, I am sorry to say that I will have to reduce
the number of visits to your home."
Controlling Weight with Self-Suggestions
When I was a touring hypnotist entertainer in the 1970s, I controlled
my weight with a number of self-suggestions. I carried a small one-element
burner. In my hotel room, I heated water in a pot, added a little spice,
and then ate it from a soup bowl with a spoon. I placed bread upon a plate
and ate it with a knife and a fork. For lunch, this would make me feel
full and satisfied. You see, I hypnotized myself to believe that the soup
was my favorite soup from the Shanghai Restaurant in Winnipeg, or perhaps
a clam chowder. The bread became a wonderful barbecued steak. Believe me,
this was an emotionally satisfying meal! I remember my stage assistant
speaking to me while I was eating: "How can you eat that for
a meal?"
Today, like many people, I eat little meat, so the thought of eating
steak is not so appetizing. The types of suggestions that are successful
with each individual often change over time. Addicts are weaned off drugs
by a similar process. Addicts may be told under hypnosis that they are
feeling the same effects as they would if they took the drug. Therefore,
the withdrawal and the drug are eliminated.
A technique that I found useful in my teen years was to look directly
into my own eyes while staring into the mirror. With a fixed gaze, you
literally can hypnotize yourself and then use this valuable focused attention
to plant a positive suggestion into your mind. Using this technique daily
over a period of weeks may show startling results.
My Polish grandfather, simply by being in a room, was a hypnotic presence.
A philosophical man, he never stopped learning. He could speak several
languages. He was an award-winning mink rancher, while it was still fashionable
to wear mink in the cold North American winters. Regularly, bits of his
advice surface from my unconscious and into my conscious thoughts. This
reminds me of the Woody Allen movie, Oedipus Wrecks in New York
Stories, in which his deceased mother appears like King Kong in the
distance always giving him advice.
Negative parental voices can be devastating to people. We can spend
a lifetime walking around with needless guilt, worries, and fears, which
were planted deep in the unconscious mind at an early age. Memories of
positive parental images and voices can be remarkably uplifting during
times of setbacks and obstacles. Most parents, with the limited knowledge
that they all have and with the excess baggage they are still carrying
from their childhood, do the best they can.
Through the use of these wonderful inborn and natural techniques I am
about to describe, I believe that I have overcome most of the limitations
of my childhood. I feel happy, healthy, and successful almost 100 percent
of the time. I never feel that life owes me any more than I have. Sometimes
I prefer alternate outcomes, but they really are not all that important
to me. I never feel bored. I can entertain myself for hours reading, gardening,
writing, visiting beautiful places, meeting interesting people, seeking
out opportunities for growth and discovery, and enjoying nature.
Affirmations from a Polish Grandfather
Here are some of the positive affirmations that I allow to remain and
echo in my mind. They come from my Polish grandfather:
My best friend is a book.
You have to have a goal. Life is like a ship. If you do not have
a destination in mind, the wind will blow you this way and that way. You
have to have a goal.
You have to make a decision, but the decision has to be the right
one. The decision has to be a calculated one. If you make too many wrong
decisions, you are finished.
Most important is the respect for the dignity of the individual.
My Polish grandfather took courses into his eighties. He gave my brother
Dave and me a set of encyclopedias for Christmas in 1961. He taught me
the importance of education and organization. But, most importantly, by
his own actions, he showed me the pleasure of hard work and the value of
education. He showed me how to develop concentration and focus, which is
so important for success. I have had to develop a balance between the have
fun today attitude of my Italian side and the let's work and plan for tomorrow
attitude of my Polish side. In the past, my dichotomous ancestry has led
to guilty thoughts:
I should be working instead of playing or I should be playing instead
of working.
Today, however, I believe I have nearly solved the problem. I normally
do not do work unless it is like play, unless I enjoy it. My work is in
large part my play, because I enjoy it so thoroughly. Each day, I live
more and more in the moment, enjoying life more and more every day. I had
to learn to avoid feeling guilty about having fun during free time. I had
to learn not to turn everything into a goal achievement task. So now, most
of the time, I do only what I enjoy doing. This attitude keeps my energy
high.
Liking What You Do And Making Money at It
Many people say that they go to work to earn a living and that they
do not like their work. One article I read claimed that 80 percent of Canadians
dislike their work. If someone came to me and told me that he did not like
his work, I would hypnotize him to go inside his unconscious mind to find
out what he really would like to do. Once he finds a particular hobby or
interest, a part-time occupation may start and develop into enjoyable,
honest, income-producing self-employment. To me, good health, happiness,
and helping others to achieve good health and happiness is everything that
I strive to achieve.
Many people I have encountered in my life have told me that they needed
more money to be happy. Liberace once said that he has been poor and he
has been rich and that being rich was more fun. When I was a teenager,
I went through a few years thinking: Money is not important. All they
want is money. Money was a `dirty' word.
A huge percentage of divorces occur because of money problems. Medical
treatment or education may be denied because of a lack of money. Some people
starve because of a lack of money. I quickly learned that money is important,
that it can give me freedom to achieve my goals and to help others to achieve
their goals. Many therapists and wonderful healers have had to change careers
because they didn't make enough money from their services.
To be a success in my line of work or any other form of work that you
love to do requires entrepreneurial skills: such as identifying a worthwhile
product or service and learning business basics, marketing skills, and
negotiation skills. The best source of entrepreneurial training assistance
that I can recommend is E. Joseph Cossman's books and seminars. Joe has
helped thousands of people change their careers, and many have become millionaires
while doing what they love to do. One of his books, co-authored with William
A. M. Cohen, is called Making It. Joe possesses the charisma and
the magic of a master communicator and teacher. He has a remarkable ability
to help you to believe in yourself and in your abilities. He has a rare
gift for clear, concise communication, often educating with personal stories
and metaphors.
It has been said that top executives have what is called Executive ESP.
In Joe's case, he always seems to know what you're thinking. He would have
been a great mind reader, hypnotist, or therapist. He also has an extraordinary
ability to counsel others in not only business, but personal aspects of
life as well. In 1994, Joe and his wife Pearl joined me for a vacation
on Vancouver Island. I enjoyed watching Joe converse with strangers. Within
seconds, he had his listener smiling and eager to help him or to continue
the conversation. Joe has a gift for bringing out the best in even strangers,
in minutes. To me, Joe is a best friend and mentor. Students of Joe's home
study entrepreneurship training program do not require a high level of
education. As Joe says: You can work from a kitchen table starting your
business with less than $50.
Joe Cossman started at the bottom and learned a simple step-by-step
formula for success. He also has a sincere desire to help others to achieve
happiness in their careers. There are thousands of systems available that
do not work. However, if you are hungry for success in starting your own
business or for financial independence, you can join thousands of others
who Joe has helped. You can reach Joe at P.O. Box 4480, Palm Springs, California
92263. Tell him Romane sent you and that you want help to start your own
business making money doing what you love to do.
Stop Smoking with Hypnosis
Stop smoking programs are one of the most successful and most gratifying
parts of my business. Hypnosis is highly effective for smoking cessation,
especially when combined with traditional medical and psychological methods.
At the 1993 Annual Convention of the National Guild of Hypnotists, Dr.
Masud Ansari stated, "The most effective and short-cut therapy to
stop nicotine dependency is through hypnosis."
I love to help people, especially to help them stop smoking. Once in
a small town grocery store, I sadly watched a young father buy two cartons
of poisonous cigarettes, while the son he was holding was wearing worn
out shoes with enormous holes. In Calgary, a woman told me: "My husband's
doctor told me that my husband would be dead today if he had not come to
your seminar."
Today, most of my clients seem to decide to attend my seminars because
they have been referred by others who have been successful at my seminars.
One mentor of mine used to say that if you give people what they need,
then you will be successful. I found out the hard way that you have to
give people what they want. I originally hoped to give full day
or several evening seminars for people wishing to stop smoking. This obviously
would be more effective. However, few people would come, because most people
are too busy to spend time looking after themselves. In fact, most people
are too busy in their lives to maintain the close relationships that they
desire.
My self-improvement seminars are vital not only to my business but to
my well-being. I love helping people. I especially enjoy hypnotizing others
to help them to stop smoking, lose weight, or to maximize their potential.
Anyone who uses these techniques will likely be healthier and happier and
live longer. When I help parents stop smoking, stay alive, and be healthier,
I am also helping thousands of children. Children in smokers' homes have
as much as 17 times the respiratory diseases as children in nonsmokers'
homes. These children also have more lead in their bloodstream than children
who live near a smelter. Finally, when I help smokers kick the habit, I
am helping to clean the environment. No wonder my stop smoking seminars
are among my favorite.
One way to stop smoking is to place a couple of dozen or so cigarette
butts into a sealed bottle for a few days. Then open the bottle and breathe
the air. Think about how that foul odor makes your body feel. A good time
to do this is before sleep. If that is not enough motivation to quit smoking,
let me relate a true story of a real estate agent who was a smoker. Apparently
a client was ready to purchase a property, but when the real estate agent
lit up his cigarette, the client was offended. The client promptly left
the company of the real estate agent and the agent lost a $7,000 commission.
There was even a case of a wife suing her husband because his smoking
made their dog sick. Now here's a true story about a deceased 74-year-old
Romanian chain-smoking millionaire. His will left his fortune to his wife
with a conditional clause. To inherit his money, she had to smoke five
cigarettes a day, "for the woman nagged me about every cigarette I
ever smoked, and she is going to pay for it now!" His 80-year-old
widow is contesting the will as unreasonable.
How to Become a Millionaire
Here is my formula for how to become a millionaire:
1. Choose what you love to do that fulfills people's wants, not necessarily
their needs. Hopefully, you will fulfill both a want and a need.
2. Spend your money on knowledge and education, not expensive cars,
opulent apartments, over-priced vacations, and other fads. How much you
save can be more important than how much you earn.
3. Spend your time with successful people, positive people. Steer clear
of negative people or anyone who thinks making profits is a negative thing.
4. Secure employment to work directly with highly successful people,
even if you have to first offer your services for free.
5. Read books and listen to lectures, cassettes, and videos of leaders
in their field. Take their seminars, too. If the seminars are out of your
price range, offer to work at the seminar for free.
6. Persist. Never give up. A client of mine once sent the following
quotation (author unknown) to me: "I shall pass through this world
but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can
show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect
it, for I shall not pass this way again."
Put Your Imagination to Work
During my early childhood years, my family struggled in poverty. My
father labored on the railroad, while my mother worked occasionally as
a waitress. My father collected bags of pop bottles from the streets and
ditches for a little extra money. Up until the age of seven, I was an only
child. I was shy and often alone. I invented my own games to entertain
myself. Using my imagination was good practice for my later work with alternative
methods of health care such as hypnosis and creative imagery. The imagination
assists you in making better use of various techniques such as healing
imagery, creative visualization, concentration, mental rehearsal, mental
discipline, successful mind programming, focusing, and mental training.
We use visualization skills every day. For example, when we daydream
about an upcoming vacation or mentally plan a trip from one location to
another, we are visualizing. Efficient visualization with an accompanying
altered state of consciousness is usually characterized by:
1. Relaxation 2. Focused concentration 3. Emptying the mind
You may choose to use these skills to become a winner, to achieve maximum
performance in any area of life. The skills may be used to reach goals.
A Hitler or Stalin can use them as can a doctor, a patient, a president,
or a saint. Adults or children can use them. However, anyone who does use
these healing techniques should be aware that he has control over the images
in his mind. In other words, this state of mind is totally safe. You can
also leave this mental state anytime you wish, stopping or leaving any
mental daydream behind you. Being alone a lot, I can remember being in
touch with that little inner voice we all receive when we are born. The
answers lie within us. All we need to do is look, listen, and trust. I
am referring to the voice of intuition, inner knowledge, and wisdom. These
are standard items in the professional hypnotherapist's toolbox.
End of Chapter Three