Stop Smoking & Lose Weight with Hypnotist M. Vance Romane



The Wellness Journey


Chapter 3 - The Connection Between Mind and Body

With absolute certainty, our thoughts can control brain waves; turn on or off the release of certain hormones; control bleeding and clotting, respiration, pulse, the muscular activity of the gastrointestinal system, and even alkalinity and acidity of our body fluids. Current research clearly shows that feelings of hopelessness and helplessness suppress the immune system. Why is it that a wife or husband often dies shortly after the death of a spouse? Is the cause of death heartbreak or a broken heart?

The connection between mind and body is being established by research of biochemical and physiological changes related to states of mind. These affect general health and healing from disease. Our state of mind will show itself in our health, our relationships, and our finances. Our magical body normally attempts to mend itself with preprogrammed input for healing. A lifestyle of unhealthy habits and negative thinking interferes with that normal mending process. Heredity factors aside, there is much we can do to heal ourselves. We have the ability to control many of the things that make us sick, such as stress. We have long recognized the damage stress can do to the body and to mental and emotional functioning. With stress, a variety of symptoms may occur:
  • EMOTIONAL: anxiety, worry, frustration, bad temper, nightmares, unhappiness
  • MENTAL: poor concentration, forgetfulness, confusion or feeling spaced out, negative attitude, low productivity
  • PHYSICAL: tension, appetite or weight change, stomach aches, headaches, heart palpitations, teeth grinding, tiredness, insomnia, aching muscles, restlessness, skin rashes (the skin is a mirror to the emotions), constipation, back pain, high blood pressure, cold hands or feet
  • SPIRITUAL: apathy, loss of purpose, wanting a magical cure, unforgiving
  • RELATIONSHIPS: loss of intimacy and sex drive, lonely, nagging, angry, intolerant, suspicious of others, manipulation of others. Every thought or image creates reactions of a chemical and electrical nature throughout the body. For years, theatrical hypnotists such as Ormond McGill have shown audiences how cutting a lemon in half and then describing the bitter, sour, mouth-puckering taste of the juice can cause the salivary glands of the members of the audience to secrete. Our internal thoughts and imagery create chemicals that communicate to cells, tissues, and organs. If thinking about a yellow, juicy, bitter, sour lemon can cause salivation, what can these stressful events do to our body, mind, and spirit:
    • Death of a loved one
    • Marriage
    • Divorce
    • Serious injury or illness to oneself or a close family member
    • New employment
    • Loss of employment
    • Retirement, loss of purpose, boredom
    • Pregnancy
    • Child leaving home
    • Financial woes
    • Arguments with spouse, in-laws, or employer
    • Changes in habits, residence, school, job
    • Vacations with busy airports, car rental line-ups, lost baggage, traffic jams We all know how thoughts can affect the flow of blood and sexual response.
A visualized picture will activate the visual cortex of the brain, but an imagined sound will activate the auditory cortex. When I tell one person or an audience of thousands to inhale and exhale a few deep breaths, to imagine each part of their body relaxing, to use all their senses and recall a favorite place of peace and tranquillity, the benefits of relaxation are elicited. The breathing slows down and becomes slightly deeper, more regular, smoother. The heart rate slows down. A relaxed body and mind are far healthier than a stressed body and mind. A relaxed mind possesses inner peace and a feeling of self-control. We have a greater feeling that we can say yes and no to people and situations in our life. Virginia Satir might have said that at this time in our life we can more easily accept what fits and discard what does not.

With this deep relaxation, a profound feeling of euphoria may occur due to the release of natural healing chemicals produced by our body. A trick I have used to remind myself to relax includes placing a small blue dot sticker on the face of my watch, on my wallet, or on my car window. Again, our thoughts can create heaven or hell for us. This applies to the individual, to a country, and to the world.

Imagine a home where all comments are positive and encouraging between husband, wife, and children. Imagine a school where all comments are positive, pleasant, and empowering among the principal, teachers, and students. Here is a list of proven activities to help you achieve greater peace of mind. (They are adapted from an article I wrote, which was published in The International Journal For Professional Hypnosis, Vol. IV, No. l, p. 10-11, 1989.)

A Checklist of Techniques for Combating the Effects of Stress:
  • Talk to a friend, counselor, minister, or physician.
  • Make an appointment for deep muscle massage.
  • Use deep breathing exercises. Breathe in a deep breath through your nose all the way down to the diaphragm, the lower part of your body. Babies are more relaxed than adults and breathe more deeply. Adults generally are high chest breathers and need to learn again how to breathe deeply. After inhaling a deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, then breathe out a long slow breath through your mouth. As you breathe in, imagine that you are filling up a glass from the bottom to the top and the glass is your body from your waist to your neck. As you breathe out, imagine that you are emptying a glass from the top to the bottom.
  • Tense up all parts of your body, one part at a time, for a few seconds each. Then, let go and relax each part of your body. Pause a few seconds after relaxing each part of your body, then go on to tensing and relaxing the next part of your body. You may wish to begin by lifting your shoulders as if you were trying to touch your ears. Hold the tension for about one minute. Be aware of all the sensations, then let go gently and relax. You can repeat this exercise of tensing up the shoulders and letting go several times.
    You also can do this with other parts of your body. Exercises of tensing up and letting go can be done by tensing and raising your eyebrows high; pressing your lips together; stretching your arms or legs straight and stiff like an iron bar; bending your hand or foot backwards or forwards; holding the breath a few seconds; squeezing the buttocks together, etc. These exercises dissolve tension in the body and relax the mind as well.
  • Change your diet to include less salt; less sugar; less alcohol; less fat; less meat; less coffee; and up to eight glasses of water daily, preferably distilled water. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, fish, and whole grain cereals and bread. Follow your physician's advice.
  • Be a non-smoker.
  • Enjoy relaxing music. Classical and new age music may induce slower, deeper breathing.
  • Drive to a peaceful park, forest, beach, mountain, or meadow.
  • Exercise with a brisk walk, hike, swim, bicycle. Go to a gym. Buy or rent your own equipment.
  • Play a voice cassette for stress reduction or read a relaxing book such as a travel book.
  • Read a book about stress reduction. I recommend You Can Learn to Relax by Dr. Samuel W. Gutwirth.
  • Take a couple of days off and go on a quiet, relaxing vacation.
  • Attend a stress reduction class at the local hospital.
  • Use self-hypnosis brain power methods: Lie down and relax your body, step by step from the bottom of your feet to the top of your head. Recall or create a peaceful place in your imagination. Use all your senses to make the image as real as possible. Really be there to the best of your ability. Enjoy every moment.
  • Start a new hobby such as painting, ceramics, sailing, tennis, or yoga.
  • Take a self-assertion course at a college or continuing education center.
  • Meditate: Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Slowly focus your mind upon one word such as calm or peace or relax. Some just choose the word one. Allow that word or image to roll around in your mind over and over and over. Any word, image, or sound that makes you feel relaxed is fine.
    When your mind wanders, that is all right. Just refocus on that one word again. If another thought intrudes, let it come and then let it go. If you fight an unwelcome thought, it will strike back harder. In such cases, I may imagine a river, with negative or intruding thoughts flowing away forever, as a piece of driftwood may flow away never to be seen again. At other times I visualize a stone dropping in a quiet lake. I watch a circle forming in the water because of the stone dropping. As the circle disappears, I allow another stone to drop and watch the circle form in the water again and then vanish. This can be most relaxing when repeated over and over.
  • Have a warm bath at 92 degrees Fahrenheit, with pleasant bath oil.
  • Drink chamomile tea.
  • See a foot reflexologist.
  • Listen to a comedy recording, audio, video or movie.
  • Do several stretching exercises.
  • Volunteer to help others for diversion. Engage in new activities; develop new friends. I am not sure where this quotation comes from, but it certainly reinforces my feelings:
    "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
    I know of one patient who felt depressed, as if life was not worth living, yet she forced herself to go out and do volunteer work in a hospital with those far less fortunate than herself. Seeing those living with more serious problems, made her problems seem less important. By helping others, she was able to climb outside of her own world of worries. Her mind became absorbed in a new train of thought, helping someone else to be happy.
    Another depressed patient who had a strong religious faith was told to pray for everyone she knew. Soon after, she also was feeling better. Both patients solved their problems in a way that worked for them. However, in both instances, the cure was helping others. Depression frequently is a reaction to a severe loss, often with a guilt feeling connected to the loss. This is best helped by consultation with a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist.
  • Add variety. Make a change in your daily routine, dress, route to work, furniture arrangement, etc. Such changes also are useful for breaking habits such as smoking and overeating. By changing the visual stimuli in your environment, it becomes easier to change the habits.
  • Set-up a regular time to relax take a relaxation break instead of a coffee break.
  • Change your attitude. Convince yourself that you have a choice as to which reaction you make to every event. Think of someone you know who always seems to remain calm and poised, no matter what happens. Model or emulate their attitudes and behavior.
  • Tell yourself you do not always have to be the winner, to be right. When you know someone has upside-down logic and they cannot be reasoned with, it is sometimes useful to say: You may be right. You can appear to say that they are right, but you can quietly agree or disagree in your own mind. Most arguments are trivial events anyway. Most of the worries and concerns we have today are forgotten by tomorrow.
  • Avoid being a workaholic by over-scheduling or over-committing yourself. Even if your work does give you enjoyment, how does it affect the people you live and work with? Make your personal and family life a priority over other demands. If your work causes you excessive stress, listen to your body and make the appropriate changes. Delegate work to others, then trust them to look after it.
  • Avoid keeping up with the Jones.
    We used to have an old GMC van. It ran well for many years. Everything worked. I looked after it. I had purchased it new, and it was like a friend of the family. I loved it. It had lots of room for bicycles or luggage. If I or someone else made a scratch or a dent in it, I didn't really care. I didn't have to impress anyone. I like myself the way I am and everyone else is entitled to their opinion. So I kept my old vehicle until it fell apart, and I kept the bill collector out of my life. Everything out dates so quickly now that the only thing I am willing to keep buying is information. Futurist Frank Ogden, in The Last Book You'll Ever Read, writes:
    "Your biggest mistake may be your unwillingness to pay for information." Ogden writes that knowledge is doubling every eighteen months, but the pace is increasing faster all the time.
  • Make a daily to do list to tackle items in order of priority.
  • Avoid spending $100 worth of your valuable energy for a 10-cent problem. Enjoy every moment. Stress depletes energy and often results in the inefficient use of time. Ben Franklin said:
    "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of."
  • Attack a major task or assignment by breaking it down into smaller tasks. This book was written at the pace of just a few pages a day. Set goals that are realistic.
  • Balance work with play.
  • Be thankful for your comfortable bed, food, water, friends, freedom, a chance to work, and many other blessings!

Controlling Life with Our Mind

Some researchers believe that every thought affects every cell of the body, awake or asleep, 24 hours a day. All of this occurs on a subconscious level, but as the years pass, scientists now find that we can control more and more in our life with our own mind.

However, the mind is not only in the head. The mind is throughout the body. Body affects body, brain affects body, and body affects brain. With excessive uncontrolled worry, people are likely to experience an increase in digestive acids, a tight throat and chest, an increase in heart rate, restless sleep, and perhaps headaches. They may increase their use of drugs, alcohol, food, or cigarettes. In distress, they seek distractions while hoping to numb the pain or provide some pleasure, however temporary.

Yet our natural inborn perfected technology can do much of the searching for the cause of the problem and the perfect solution. These are the unlimited gifts within. Many years ago, I read research that discovered there is a difference between tears of joy and tears of sadness. Although tears of depression may look the same as tears of laughter, being clear and wet, there is a major unseen difference between the two. Their chemical content is different and varies according to our thoughts.

The relatively new field which studies mind and body relationships is called psychoneuroimmunology, also known as PNI. One of the pioneers, O. Carl Simonton, M.D., in his popular book, Getting Well Again, discusses a variety of positive mental techniques to defend against feelings of hopelessness and even cancer. I gave this book and accompanying audio cassettes to my Aunt Minnie and others. The recommendations of Dr. Simonton have had a remarkable effect in prolonging and adding quality to their lives. It seems so many people who have cancer are those who are always doing wonderful things for other people, but who forget about themselves. I always say:

"Love yourself first. Then when your basic needs are satisfied, you can really love and help others."

Simonton discusses such valuable techniques as learning a positive attitude, exercising, regulating your diet, joining an emotional support group of patients who share the same problem, meditating, setting goals, using positive imaging to alter the health of the body or specific parts of the body, visualizing good health and success before it happens, using hypnosis for pain control, using biofeedback, employing therapy to increase feelings of self-worth, and training to cope with stress and anger.

Exercise: Creating Feelings

Remember a time when you felt angry. Create all the details of the event, using all your senses. Notice how you feel. Now remember a time when you felt happy, again using all your senses. Just as we can upset ourselves by reviewing the past over and over, we can choose to feel confident, calm, and happy by selecting memories that inspire those feelings.

Moods and attitudes can affect our organs, tissues, our entire physical health. Our immune system is affected by our anger, sadness, and happy states. On the other hand, if you do not feel confident or happy, you can pretend that you are and you can change your emotions. Then you are the master of your own mind.

Prayer and Mind Power

Where the patient has a strong religious faith, prayer may be most beneficial. Some cancer professionals employ psychological techniques in conjunction with standard medical procedures. The use of mind power methods may enhance the benefits of other procedures such as surgery, medication, exercise, and diet.

Other benefits may include enhanced rest and better sleep, inner peace, and removal of or a dramatically improved ability to cope with pain. In addition, a more positive outcome from surgery is more likely by instilling confidence in a patient regarding his beliefs about the skills and techniques of the physician coupled with the removal of preoperative fears, stress, and tension. Direct or indirect suggestions in and out of hypnosis can be most beneficial when used to convince the patient she is capable of rapid recovery and healing. Among many suggestions, medical hypnotist, Dr. William J. Bryan, Jr. advocated telling his patients:

'You will come out of surgery with a good appetite.'

The rationale of the suggestion and internal imagery is that if the patient is to come out of surgery with a good appetite, he will have to be alive. Dr. Bryan believed that an operation should not begin unless the patient is convinced of a positive outcome following the operation. Imagine a hypnotist in every hospital programming success imagery into every patient who is about to undergo surgery. Perhaps hospitals could have full-time hypno-technicians to hypnotize patients. Each patient could be given the exact hypnotic suggestions recommended by his or her doctor.

Imagine a room filled with people who will undergo the same type of treatment program, all feeling optimistic about their future. Do you think that perhaps their body will cooperate better in the healing process?

The Firewalk Experience

Would you walk barefoot over a bed of hot coals or hot stones to build up your confidence? This confidence builder, which is all the rage at some seminars and workshops, borders on a P. T. Barnum publicity stunt. However, if a participant really believes in his mind that he has accomplished the miraculous, then that is wonderful. The experience can boost your confidence sometimes to a ridiculous extent.

Some fire walkers go so far as to believe that they have made themselves immune to fire. Others tell their followers that special powers of immunity to fire have been extended to everyone attending the firewalk event. Regardless of the true worth of this experience, when you believe in yourself, you can do so much more than you ever believed possible. This is not a new development. People have been doing the firewalk for thousands of years. In 1961, I read about the firewalk experience in D. H. Rawcliffe's excellent reference work, Illusions and Delusions of the Supernatural and the Occult:

"... the fire walker induces an autohypnotic state with accompanying analgesia and a psychosomatic modification of the tissues to injury by burning." Rawcliffe adds that part of the preparation for the firewalk may "include fasting, sexual abstinence, prayers, monotonous chanting, exhortations, frenzied rhythmic dancing .... The combined effect of many of these initial purification rites must often produce in the walker a highly suggestible trance-like state. There is, however, little indication that the primary function of such preliminaries is anything more than to bring about the expulsion of the walkers' natural fears, a vital point in all types of firewalk. It is necessary to keep one's wits; for poise, correct pacing, and timing are all important liquors are never taken beforehand ....

The initial rites therefore play a big role in bolstering up confidence ....The feet are actually in contact with the embers less than half a second during each step; this is the secret of the firewalk; and provided the feet are completely dry and free from perspiration, so that no burning ashes adhere to them during the time each foot is in the air, the risks of burning are relatively small .... Steadiness in walking is an advantage in order to avoid remaining with the weight on one foot for too long ...."

Decades ago and continuing today, some hypnotist entertainers have passed fire under the palm of hypnotized volunteers. As with the firewalk embers, the flame produces a stunning visual effect in a dark room. The volunteer is told to extend his arm straight out, with the palm facing down. The hypnotist strikes up a lighter and passes the flame under the hand with no burning, supposedly due to hypnosis. Genuine as hypnosis is, this stunt is merely an adaptation of a simple magician's trick. If you place your hand through a candle flame, without visiting it too long, you may achieve black fingers, but there will be no burn. Similarly, our entertainer makes sure that the flame from the lighter does not linger long on the volunteer's palm.

Using Hypnosis to Recall the Happy Times

Why not use positive imagery or hypnosis to help people to be thankful for every moment of the gift of life? Hypnosis may be used to help in the recall of all the pleasant memories, the things we have learned, and the thrills we have experienced. Such memories may induce natural chemicals to be released in the body creating a joyous, positive feeling state. Negative past experiences and memories may be altered to become more positive. Emotional gaps and longings in one's personal history may be patched, altered, redesigned, and changed. Before dying, mental preparation may even begin for the journey to the next world. Different scripts of positive suggestions may be composed, depending upon the personal beliefs and the individual desires of each patient. As the most respected medical hypnotist Dr. Milton H. Erickson said:

'You can practice anything, and master it!"

Another wonderful quotation from Dr. Erickson is:

"After the rain always comes the sunshine."

The techniques I am about to describe will transform your life. Much of what I discuss also can be done without another person acting as your guide. You will replace the old negative programming with positive affirmations and images. The mental static and invisible barriers of the mind can be removed permanently.

I am moving slowly because I want you to climb inside my head and understand how I think and how I feel. When you have an understanding and a feel for what I write about, you will be able to effortlessly use these invisible gifts which we all possess. You will be able to use the technique at will with precision and joy. In this book I will use my journeys into the personal memories of my mind to show you how to easily use these processes in your own daily life.

Like the pieces of a puzzle, I believe everything will fit together perfectly by the end of this book. I believe that your application of the creative resources and strengths of your inner mind will then be easily and automatically applied to enrich your life. Countless people have asked me over the past three decades how I became interested in the study of the inner mind, the power of positive thinking, and hypnotic motivation. More importantly, thousands of people have asked me how they can use these wonderful gifts in their own life. I am a great advocate of positive thinking. However, as Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Robert Harper point out in A Guide To Successful Marriage, there are limits to the value of positive thinking:

"At the most it may serve as a temporary diversion from your difficulties. It cannot really correct them as long as together with this `accentuating the positive', you are still unconsciously or unawarely emphasizing the negative."

This quote emphasizes the greater importance of changes within the inner mind. My vision is to share these gifts with as many people as possible. We all have them, but only a small percentage of the population will ever use them. I want you to know and believe that you have these powers inside you and that you easily can use them at will. Once you learn them, my hope is that you will share these techniques with your family, friends, coworkers, and anyone else who will listen. I say, with confidence, that you can use these techniques on a daily basis to enjoy a healthier, wealthier, and happier life.

Perhaps the most wonderful benefit of using these techniques is that when you're satisfied and happy, it is easy for you to love others and help others to enjoy every moment of their lives. The best way to share these miraculous gifts with you is to start at the beginning. I was born July 1, 1949 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For the first 37 years of my life I lived in Winnipeg. I now live in a small seaside community in White Rock, British Columbia, Canada, about 45 minutes from Vancouver.

I was the eldest of two boys raised by an Italian father and a Polish mother. Although my parents were born in Canada, my grandparents emigrated from Europe with no money but a strong work ethic. Having parents from such distinct and opposing nationalities, I experienced, from an early age, a wide variety of society and social characteristics. My Italian background gave me a sense of spontaneity, impulsiveness, and a general joy for life. My Italian relatives taught me warm affection, appreciation of the present, and the exuberance that Italians are well known for. A visit to the Italian side of the family was a loud, boisterous event with grandparents, aunts, and uncles kissing, hugging, and shouting how glad they were to see me. They lived by a simple motto:

Enjoy these precious moments we have together.

Every greeting was followed with huge quantities of food and the unending Italian admonishment to eat, eat, and eat some more. Like many cultures, food was another way to show love. To eat the food was to show appreciation of that love. No wonder I was overweight as a teenager! I hated feeling uncomfortable and habitually buying one size larger. A change of attitude was required. I needed to eat to live, rather than to live to eat.

From my Polish side, I learned how to plan and look forward to the future. Although most of my Polish relatives were not as open in their show of affections as my Italian relatives, they were nonetheless steadfast in their caring and kindness toward me. My Polish grandmother, Baba, as we have always called her, still lives in Winnipeg. When I think of her, I see two large arms coming to give me a warm and secure hug. Baba has been known for years as the world's greatest perogy maker.

I remember many family get-togethers, in which Baba would make enough food to feed an army. Chicken, beef, cabbage rolls filled with rice, salads, potatoes and gravy, bread, borscht soup, ice-cream, five or six deserts, soft drinks, milk and, of course, plenty of butter and onions for the perogies. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Are you? Even during short visits to Baba's, I was greeted by those big enveloping arms and a table loaded with food. She would most often say, "You are too small. Eat, I like a big man. You are too skinny."

I appreciated Baba's love for me as expressed through food, but I often had to use self-suggestion and mentally think: "I reject that suggestion; that's ridiculous. My body weight is just right."

Two ideas are important here: First, you reject the negative suggestion. Place a concrete and steel mental wall on top of it. Or place a large black X upon it. Or let it float away in a balloon. Or use some other technique that is effective for you. Another method is to visualize a large garbage can or incinerator. Imagine that you are placing any negative thoughts that you have about yourself into the garbage can and watch city refuse collectors take them away. The first technique that pops into your head from your inner mind is usually the best one. I'll tell you more about that later.

Secondly, you affirm with a positive suggestion stating what you do want to believe. Remember, with positive suggestions, you always say what you do want, never what you don't want. The attitude about food that I grew up with was: Let's celebrate and eat.

This attitude is great for the food merchandisers, but it no doubt has led to billions of pounds of extra weight throughout the world. Some people, while trying to control their weight problem while visiting others, have tried another tactic to lose weight. This involves telling your host the following: " love to visit you, but I find that I eat too much when I come. Your delicious food is so tempting. My doctor says I have to control my weight because it will be easier on my back, to control my blood pressure, etc. I know you love me, but you can show it best by not tempting me with all these wonderful foods."

A more forceful tactic used by some is to say: "Please try your best to help me. If you cannot, I am sorry to say that I will have to reduce the number of visits to your home."

Controlling Weight with Self-Suggestions

When I was a touring hypnotist entertainer in the 1970s, I controlled my weight with a number of self-suggestions. I carried a small one-element burner. In my hotel room, I heated water in a pot, added a little spice, and then ate it from a soup bowl with a spoon. I placed bread upon a plate and ate it with a knife and a fork. For lunch, this would make me feel full and satisfied. You see, I hypnotized myself to believe that the soup was my favorite soup from the Shanghai Restaurant in Winnipeg, or perhaps a clam chowder. The bread became a wonderful barbecued steak. Believe me, this was an emotionally satisfying meal! I remember my stage assistant speaking to me while I was eating: "How can you eat that for a meal?"

Today, like many people, I eat little meat, so the thought of eating steak is not so appetizing. The types of suggestions that are successful with each individual often change over time. Addicts are weaned off drugs by a similar process. Addicts may be told under hypnosis that they are feeling the same effects as they would if they took the drug. Therefore, the withdrawal and the drug are eliminated.

A technique that I found useful in my teen years was to look directly into my own eyes while staring into the mirror. With a fixed gaze, you literally can hypnotize yourself and then use this valuable focused attention to plant a positive suggestion into your mind. Using this technique daily over a period of weeks may show startling results.

My Polish grandfather, simply by being in a room, was a hypnotic presence. A philosophical man, he never stopped learning. He could speak several languages. He was an award-winning mink rancher, while it was still fashionable to wear mink in the cold North American winters. Regularly, bits of his advice surface from my unconscious and into my conscious thoughts. This reminds me of the Woody Allen movie, Oedipus Wrecks in New York Stories, in which his deceased mother appears like King Kong in the distance always giving him advice.

Negative parental voices can be devastating to people. We can spend a lifetime walking around with needless guilt, worries, and fears, which were planted deep in the unconscious mind at an early age. Memories of positive parental images and voices can be remarkably uplifting during times of setbacks and obstacles. Most parents, with the limited knowledge that they all have and with the excess baggage they are still carrying from their childhood, do the best they can.

Through the use of these wonderful inborn and natural techniques I am about to describe, I believe that I have overcome most of the limitations of my childhood. I feel happy, healthy, and successful almost 100 percent of the time. I never feel that life owes me any more than I have. Sometimes I prefer alternate outcomes, but they really are not all that important to me. I never feel bored. I can entertain myself for hours reading, gardening, writing, visiting beautiful places, meeting interesting people, seeking out opportunities for growth and discovery, and enjoying nature.

Affirmations from a Polish Grandfather

Here are some of the positive affirmations that I allow to remain and echo in my mind. They come from my Polish grandfather:

My best friend is a book.

You have to have a goal. Life is like a ship. If you do not have a destination in mind, the wind will blow you this way and that way. You have to have a goal.

You have to make a decision, but the decision has to be the right one. The decision has to be a calculated one. If you make too many wrong decisions, you are finished.

Most important is the respect for the dignity of the individual.

My Polish grandfather took courses into his eighties. He gave my brother Dave and me a set of encyclopedias for Christmas in 1961. He taught me the importance of education and organization. But, most importantly, by his own actions, he showed me the pleasure of hard work and the value of education. He showed me how to develop concentration and focus, which is so important for success. I have had to develop a balance between the have fun today attitude of my Italian side and the let's work and plan for tomorrow attitude of my Polish side. In the past, my dichotomous ancestry has led to guilty thoughts:

I should be working instead of playing or I should be playing instead of working.

Today, however, I believe I have nearly solved the problem. I normally do not do work unless it is like play, unless I enjoy it. My work is in large part my play, because I enjoy it so thoroughly. Each day, I live more and more in the moment, enjoying life more and more every day. I had to learn to avoid feeling guilty about having fun during free time. I had to learn not to turn everything into a goal achievement task. So now, most of the time, I do only what I enjoy doing. This attitude keeps my energy high.

Liking What You Do And Making Money at It

Many people say that they go to work to earn a living and that they do not like their work. One article I read claimed that 80 percent of Canadians dislike their work. If someone came to me and told me that he did not like his work, I would hypnotize him to go inside his unconscious mind to find out what he really would like to do. Once he finds a particular hobby or interest, a part-time occupation may start and develop into enjoyable, honest, income-producing self-employment. To me, good health, happiness, and helping others to achieve good health and happiness is everything that I strive to achieve.

Many people I have encountered in my life have told me that they needed more money to be happy. Liberace once said that he has been poor and he has been rich and that being rich was more fun. When I was a teenager, I went through a few years thinking: Money is not important. All they want is money. Money was a `dirty' word.

A huge percentage of divorces occur because of money problems. Medical treatment or education may be denied because of a lack of money. Some people starve because of a lack of money. I quickly learned that money is important, that it can give me freedom to achieve my goals and to help others to achieve their goals. Many therapists and wonderful healers have had to change careers because they didn't make enough money from their services.

To be a success in my line of work or any other form of work that you love to do requires entrepreneurial skills: such as identifying a worthwhile product or service and learning business basics, marketing skills, and negotiation skills. The best source of entrepreneurial training assistance that I can recommend is E. Joseph Cossman's books and seminars. Joe has helped thousands of people change their careers, and many have become millionaires while doing what they love to do. One of his books, co-authored with William A. M. Cohen, is called Making It. Joe possesses the charisma and the magic of a master communicator and teacher. He has a remarkable ability to help you to believe in yourself and in your abilities. He has a rare gift for clear, concise communication, often educating with personal stories and metaphors.

It has been said that top executives have what is called Executive ESP. In Joe's case, he always seems to know what you're thinking. He would have been a great mind reader, hypnotist, or therapist. He also has an extraordinary ability to counsel others in not only business, but personal aspects of life as well. In 1994, Joe and his wife Pearl joined me for a vacation on Vancouver Island. I enjoyed watching Joe converse with strangers. Within seconds, he had his listener smiling and eager to help him or to continue the conversation. Joe has a gift for bringing out the best in even strangers, in minutes. To me, Joe is a best friend and mentor. Students of Joe's home study entrepreneurship training program do not require a high level of education. As Joe says: You can work from a kitchen table starting your business with less than $50.

Joe Cossman started at the bottom and learned a simple step-by-step formula for success. He also has a sincere desire to help others to achieve happiness in their careers. There are thousands of systems available that do not work. However, if you are hungry for success in starting your own business or for financial independence, you can join thousands of others who Joe has helped. You can reach Joe at P.O. Box 4480, Palm Springs, California 92263. Tell him Romane sent you and that you want help to start your own business making money doing what you love to do.

Stop Smoking with Hypnosis

Stop smoking programs are one of the most successful and most gratifying parts of my business. Hypnosis is highly effective for smoking cessation, especially when combined with traditional medical and psychological methods. At the 1993 Annual Convention of the National Guild of Hypnotists, Dr. Masud Ansari stated, "The most effective and short-cut therapy to stop nicotine dependency is through hypnosis."

I love to help people, especially to help them stop smoking. Once in a small town grocery store, I sadly watched a young father buy two cartons of poisonous cigarettes, while the son he was holding was wearing worn out shoes with enormous holes. In Calgary, a woman told me: "My husband's doctor told me that my husband would be dead today if he had not come to your seminar."

Today, most of my clients seem to decide to attend my seminars because they have been referred by others who have been successful at my seminars. One mentor of mine used to say that if you give people what they need, then you will be successful. I found out the hard way that you have to give people what they want. I originally hoped to give full day or several evening seminars for people wishing to stop smoking. This obviously would be more effective. However, few people would come, because most people are too busy to spend time looking after themselves. In fact, most people are too busy in their lives to maintain the close relationships that they desire.

My self-improvement seminars are vital not only to my business but to my well-being. I love helping people. I especially enjoy hypnotizing others to help them to stop smoking, lose weight, or to maximize their potential. Anyone who uses these techniques will likely be healthier and happier and live longer. When I help parents stop smoking, stay alive, and be healthier, I am also helping thousands of children. Children in smokers' homes have as much as 17 times the respiratory diseases as children in nonsmokers' homes. These children also have more lead in their bloodstream than children who live near a smelter. Finally, when I help smokers kick the habit, I am helping to clean the environment. No wonder my stop smoking seminars are among my favorite.

One way to stop smoking is to place a couple of dozen or so cigarette butts into a sealed bottle for a few days. Then open the bottle and breathe the air. Think about how that foul odor makes your body feel. A good time to do this is before sleep. If that is not enough motivation to quit smoking, let me relate a true story of a real estate agent who was a smoker. Apparently a client was ready to purchase a property, but when the real estate agent lit up his cigarette, the client was offended. The client promptly left the company of the real estate agent and the agent lost a $7,000 commission.

There was even a case of a wife suing her husband because his smoking made their dog sick. Now here's a true story about a deceased 74-year-old Romanian chain-smoking millionaire. His will left his fortune to his wife with a conditional clause. To inherit his money, she had to smoke five cigarettes a day, "for the woman nagged me about every cigarette I ever smoked, and she is going to pay for it now!" His 80-year-old widow is contesting the will as unreasonable.

How to Become a Millionaire

Here is my formula for how to become a millionaire:

1. Choose what you love to do that fulfills people's wants, not necessarily their needs. Hopefully, you will fulfill both a want and a need.

2. Spend your money on knowledge and education, not expensive cars, opulent apartments, over-priced vacations, and other fads. How much you save can be more important than how much you earn.

3. Spend your time with successful people, positive people. Steer clear of negative people or anyone who thinks making profits is a negative thing.

4. Secure employment to work directly with highly successful people, even if you have to first offer your services for free.

5. Read books and listen to lectures, cassettes, and videos of leaders in their field. Take their seminars, too. If the seminars are out of your price range, offer to work at the seminar for free.

6. Persist. Never give up. A client of mine once sent the following quotation (author unknown) to me: "I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

Put Your Imagination to Work

During my early childhood years, my family struggled in poverty. My father labored on the railroad, while my mother worked occasionally as a waitress. My father collected bags of pop bottles from the streets and ditches for a little extra money. Up until the age of seven, I was an only child. I was shy and often alone. I invented my own games to entertain myself. Using my imagination was good practice for my later work with alternative methods of health care such as hypnosis and creative imagery. The imagination assists you in making better use of various techniques such as healing imagery, creative visualization, concentration, mental rehearsal, mental discipline, successful mind programming, focusing, and mental training.

We use visualization skills every day. For example, when we daydream about an upcoming vacation or mentally plan a trip from one location to another, we are visualizing. Efficient visualization with an accompanying altered state of consciousness is usually characterized by:

1. Relaxation
2. Focused concentration
3. Emptying the mind

You may choose to use these skills to become a winner, to achieve maximum performance in any area of life. The skills may be used to reach goals. A Hitler or Stalin can use them as can a doctor, a patient, a president, or a saint. Adults or children can use them. However, anyone who does use these healing techniques should be aware that he has control over the images in his mind. In other words, this state of mind is totally safe. You can also leave this mental state anytime you wish, stopping or leaving any mental daydream behind you. Being alone a lot, I can remember being in touch with that little inner voice we all receive when we are born. The answers lie within us. All we need to do is look, listen, and trust. I am referring to the voice of intuition, inner knowledge, and wisdom. These are standard items in the professional hypnotist's toolbox.


End of Chapter Three